Damn journals. Always dressing so trendy.

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 22:34:23 GMT

we just finished a song and it is really good. well thats my opinon of it. were gonna be having shows soon if anyone would like to come.

i met an amazing girl. and i am happy. we'll see where it leads. =)

and i need to finish hooking up my system. its gonna be bumping.

song name by the way is "picture of a girl".

thats all for now. going to guitar center and to the mall to get these kickass earings.

Sun, 29 May 2005 06:15:50 GMT

no more school.
now college.
i cried alittle at the end of the day friday.
the senior video was cool everyone love my skit.

Fri, 27 May 2005 12:22:06 GMT

so its the last day of school. alittle sad but what can you do.
its funny this day seems to be alot of reflecting on fond memories with your friends. iam reflecting on all the change that has taken course over these years, all the different people i met along the way. from the boy i was to the man iam. iam the future and i have a world of oppratunity ahead of me. it has been a very interesting journy, to say the least, and i wonder what other adventures will proceed this. what other "coincadinces" will occure. who will i be 5 years from now? will i be alone?

iam going to make the best of everything. i will find all that i am looking for. and i will be sucessful. mark my words.

and with that note its time to open up a new chapter in my life.
i wish all the best to everyone. for now iam going with it.

Tue, 24 May 2005 23:29:35 GMT

talk about a shitty nite.
prom was such a bad nite.
everything that could go wrong did.
i waited untill 8 for her. she didnt come so then i went to my friends house and my mom called and told me to call cassi. i called she said shell meet me at my house. i went home and waited then at 1030 she comes. it was raining out that nited i get to the prom they wouldnt let us in because it was past 9:00. so i spent 140 dollars for nothing. but they at least let us take a picture. we got into the car when i relized that the suit that mark gave has not been washed. it was his fathers and was sitting in the attic for a while so it smelled soo bad and just sucked. so cassi suggested that we go to the wedding and go drink but when she called they wouldnt let anyone in who wasnt on the guest list so i went home and slept. kinda sucks. and its funny i didnt want to go before then decide that i wanted to and ended up sucking. but whatever. no use haveing regreat. couldnt have happened any other way.=)

Wed, 18 May 2005 17:26:17 GMT

its funny. iam accused of talking "shit" behind your back and yet ive said nothing. ive been nothing but nice to you i really dont understands your actions and your motives but for you to quit because iam going to be the ass of the store, as you put it, is kinda hurtful. i thought you were a friend, i stood up for you to my friends when that kid wanted to come to my house and i didnt let him because of you. ive had no alter motives. and i really wish that you would drop this and let me be happy without worrying that theres someone in the backround trying to destroy what ive worked for. thats all i have to say.

truer words were never spoke

Tue, 17 May 2005 17:16:03 GMT

"Don't ever get your hopes up about anything, your only going to get fucked over again, you are here so that you get fucked over by almost everyone. Even the ones you thought would never do it. Fuck everything, always think the worse, then maybe it will be good."

Tue, 17 May 2005 17:12:03 GMT

i could write about how this sucks and that sucks.
but lately ive been happy. really happy, and gassy. ha ha.
my car is soo fun to drive.
its a stick and its really fun. and i blast the music, it was given with a system in it.
i just need to paint it.

Tue, 17 May 2005 00:45:12 GMT

got my car its cool.
turns out friends arn't friends dont want to get into that.
so many people just love to talk behind my back.
but fuck them. iam a good person i dont care what people think of me.

but i love lkkatie.
and cassi.
and anyone else who supports me.

Wed, 11 May 2005 23:52:15 GMT

quick update for those interested.
interview on friday for the assistant manager position.
my car is ready and waiting.
dying my hair as we speak.
and tomorrow is my first day of practice for my band. oh ya bout time.
you'll see what i'm made of bitches.

ps- i love jaimee.
pps- angelica is coming sooooonn!!!
ppps- i'm writing a book and it's going to be #1 on your list
pppps- season finale of smallville tonite. 10 minutes.

Sun, 01 May 2005 06:18:28 GMT

iam surronded by idiots who want to make a point about nothing.who want more "energy" directed there way. i've noticed more about peoples behaviors. there actions and the flow of things. the meaning behind the acts. i just want to quit with the game. i want to stop pretending to not care and stop acting like "happy go lucky" honestly i want to be left alone with my thoughts and my search for true spirituality. no.. not alone but away from these false friends, these false providers of sinceraty and loyalty. they use me as a stepping stole to build there own self up. telling me how they fuck the shit out of this girl so the messege could be passed on. i dont want to have to pretend to be interested in something iam not. iam not cool. iam not hip and i dont want my time wasted my imbasils who dont care. how do i know noone cares? because noone takes the real time to listen to what i have to say. its always about themselves. this has been going on for awhile and it has left me feeling that i dont even have a voice to speak with anymore. litterally i feel i cant even talk anymore. and the evil goes on and the signs continue. i remember when i use to go out with britt that people would flock away from us, well truns out not us just me. why is that? these things still happen to me but why? why dont i "fit"in? what is different about me to the rest?

and on a different note
ANGELICA IS COMEING BACK!!!!!!
oh my stomach has butterflys at the thought. and this time it will be for two weeks and not one. yes!!

Mon, 25 Apr 2005 18:33:06 GMT

iam getting a car. 94 ford prob.
getting an apartment. thanks to section 8.
writting a book. and gonna try to get my poems and stuff published.
and gonna become ass. manager of my store if they can hold off for a month.
well thats all that good stuff.
oh and i meet my dream girl wed. but didnt talk to her so hopefull she'll be back.
do you beleave in fate?

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 00:24:05 GMT

Dear Joshface~

i'm writing this to you, even though you are sitting next me, watching smallville, (the guy in the chains is getting REALLY angry!). I just wanted to let you know that i love you so fucking much, and if you some day decided to hate me, that feeling would never EVER change. i lovelovelove hanging out with you, and having deep meaningful conversations, even if they aren't that meaningful.

i guess i'll let you watch your show now, and then we can talk and cry && crunk.
bitch! you just read this.

eat my ass, nigga.
LMAOROFL.

LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER AND JUNK..
jaimeeface.
bfflz143637.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 18:28:16 GMT

IAM RICH BITCH!!!!!

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 18:40:18 GMT

yes!! results are showing. hard work and determination. just need to keep it up.

ive been putting off writing to angelica. its been so long since we last talked but if shes coming up in the summer i want to see her. we hit it off sooo great, but like all good things it was short lived.

track track track.
iam proud that iam doing something ya know. this the musical. even tho i hate it hear i am still trying to make the best of it.

going to get sec. 8 soon. free living hear i come. then i ll get a new car. planing planningPLANING!!!!
well things have been looking up for me. iam tired of the same boring "parties", which are never really parties just small get together with the same people. no offense to you . but i NEED to meet new people. i need to put myself out there.

well cheers i hope all is well.

Sun, 20 Mar 2005 05:17:48 GMT

"i won a tiara!..." wow thats some crazy stuff rite there.

im scared daddy.

Sun, 20 Mar 2005 04:20:41 GMT

"A girl died in 1933 by a homicidal murderer. He buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murdered chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. and you wont die =)"

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 19:43:04 GMT

i have to work tonite and its snowing bad out. this sucks. now i have to walk in the snow, usually i dont mind hiking but in the snow it sucks. my body is killing me. ive started a new work out and its kicking my ass. starting track in two weeks. schools ending soon.
but all is well in smallville and your hero is stronger than ever. weird day. what will i wear to work today? maybe my bad ass track jack. i got at areo.
i love shopping.

i want to go to prom but i need a date. might go solo but i want to go with some one. then theres an after party on a yatch oh man thats gonna be fun.

alright you fuckers iam going now to work, so shit off you bloats.

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 16:56:48 GMT

i feel so presured to go to college and i dont even know what i want to do. i want to do something with music and poetry. i doubt i can even get into college. i hope if theres a plan that it reveals itself soon. i hope something will turn up that screams FAITH!!!! i feel lost and i feel that i will be a cast away in the ocean of life. i dont have one main talent that iam exceedingly well at. i have lots of " iam ok at's"

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 13:22:00 GMT

well i hate valentines day. people are immature. people telling my shit then people just ignoreing me. ya its about that girl. i said nothing to her but people are talking and now she doesnt even look at me. whatever her loss.
then one of the girls i was suppose to hang out with couldnt then told me she had a boyfriend. why would you make plans with someone on valentines day just to tell them you have a boyfriend.
well besides that it was ok. i wrote and ate and laid about who can ask for more.
well i happy if you had a good nite with someone special and to those who dont have someone special i hope you find that someone down the road.

now off to salem state to look around,

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 00:46:38 GMT

wow. weird dreams lately. i dont know they're so realistic. is anyone else having weird dreams??
i need to get away from temptaion. i need to releave my self of these false friends. why should i ruin things for them?
a boy with a bad "rash" has no clue where it came from and the doctors dont know what they are. iam concenered. it seems poeple are infected with things here. everyone is so sexualy open. 3 years..i wont ruin it on a fling because i feel weak. i want heaven. i feel i must stay pure in case anything should happen. i feel iam destend for somthing but what? i know i must stay pure tho.

Mon, 07 Feb 2005 13:50:47 GMT

alright i have a difficult situation.
you know how iam really picky when it comes to finding someone well i like this girl and i would go out with her but shes friends with someone who really likes me. now should i take the chance and tell her how i feel even tho i already know the outcome. i know that nothing will happen because her friend likes me. and shes told by everyone that they like her. which even lessens my chance more. but do i keep all this inside and never risk anything. or just step aside.
i dont know what to do.

Mon, 07 Feb 2005 01:16:36 GMT

tonite was the last nite and no one showed. katie steph megan no one came.=(. its ok tho they probly got confused about the time or something. well i hope all enjoyed today actually sucked much more than yesterday. ya big drama today. things were said about things last nite and someone got really really hurt today. its fucked up because no one was to say snything about anything. that didnt work.

lots of crying today. this is the end. i dont know this kinda symbolized the end of school for me. iam so scared what am i going to do. everyone was crying and proclaiming love. i might become antisocial again. i know this is a negitive way of looking at it. but i dont want to have to lose people. my way of protecting my self.

well the play is over and going to "play"

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 04:47:31 GMT

tonite was good. i did my play and yesterday also.
britt came and that was cool but she left half way threw so she didnt see my solo. oh ya solo mother fucker. otherwise it was good and i messed up but noone noticed. everyone was all like.. you have talent who knew. i just wished that she couldve seen.
well... we went to wendys after and it was ssoooo much fun!
we were all singing and i was in my suit and lookded all nice.

sundays the last day so if you want to see me perform its your last chance.

britt thank you for comeing. and everyone else thank you for all your suport.

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 13:33:20 GMT

i notice that alot of people get attached to people so easyly. i wish i was like that maybe then i wouldnt be so alone. i wish i wasnt so critical when it comes to finding a girlfriend. i dont want to go out with someone to just go out with someone. i dont want to feel like iam using them to be the cure for my lonesom heart. i try to make friends but they all seem to be momentary fixes. nothing permenent. it always comes back to me with noone. then what? i find someone and what? have them be part of my pathetic life. i have good times where iam completely content with myself and what iam doing. and other times i just want to share my life with someone who really cares for me and i her. this is one of those times.

last nite i woke up to my mom histerical. turns out my brothers roommate o.d.'ed on meth and calonapins. he was dead for awhile then mark showed up and they got him back. the cops took all there weed. my mom thinks that my brother is a good kid that all he does is smoke weed. shes nieve to think that. he is a good kid he just made some bad decisions. i really hope that this experience will get it in his head. i dont know if it will after all the kid who he found dead over his other friends house didnt really do anything for him. my parents want him to come home and to get away from all of that stuff. i doubt he will be cause she is partly responseable for the way he turned out.

i cut my hair and i cryed when i did it. no i didnt lose a bet or anything like that. i miss it but it was for the best. i will however grow it back. and in about 2-3 years i will re dread it depending on how much i like my hair that length. this will be fun. i will go threw all the awkward stages that my hair under goes. my scalp was really sensitive. and the fact that i dreaded it then combed it out, which causes ALOT of damage, and then redreaded it didnt help.

the musical will be this friday sat and sunday. iam really nervous so if you come dont tell me when you'll be there. ima singn anda dancen. fun fun.

well i think thats about it.

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 21:53:56 GMT

ordered the 10th insight.
had the whole week off.
going to boston.
going to a party hopefully.
makeing a mense with people.
lots of reading.
play will be pushed up.
it was suppose to be the 4 5 and 6th but due to snow.

peace outty.